Today marks a day that seems strange to me. For once, like in a very long time, I think since high school, I decided to go work out. By myself. Out of the house. It is strange because I am queen of excuses and procrastination. I will think of ANYTHING else to do besides going to work out. I strongly dislike it that much. And today was no exception. Couldn't get a hold of my work out buddy this morning so I was strongly considering crawling back into bed for another 2 hours of sleep. Then I got on pinterest. And ate some butter toast. And I don't know, maybe I am just paranoid or overly cautious, but I refuse to go running by myself in the dark. I just don't trust peoples intentions. And I am not a very strong person. Loud, yes, but what good would that do me at 4 am when almost everyone else in this town is slumbering? So I went to the gym. Albeit, I probably shouldn't have gone, it is my hubby's membership, and I am not included, but they did tell him he can bring a guest from time to time, he just stayed at home while his guest came in. One of us has to stay at home, what kind of parents would we be to leave our slumbering child in the house by him self for that amount of time, even if he probably would sleep the entire time? So I went. Honestly, I feel really proud of myself. I didn't do a lot, but I actually broke a sweat (which is a huge reason I don't like exercising) and I almost quit (another reason, I lack self motivation when it comes to pushing past the wall), and I for just a split second, felt like vomiting (yet another reason to never want to work out, who enjoys that feeling??). Then I made it! I did a whole whopping 35 minutes on the treadmill under fat burn going 3.8. Sure sounds easy, and it was for the first 10 minutes, then the stupid treadmill decided it wanted to incline. To 8. I thought I was going to die. Granted I was at a VERY fast walk, and could have slowed down, but my goal eventually is to only walk during warm up and cool down, I want to get back to running. So I burned 255 calories (which I think my body will continue to burn calories for at least another hour), which is awesome, because that means I can eat a skinny cow ice cream sandwich! (140 calories).
Okay, so this is very important for me to say. I am NOT trying to loose weight. Because honestly, I am already in my weight class for my height. The top of the weight class, but none the less in it. What I am TRYING to do is firm up this cratered, gelatinous behind/legs that I have allowed to get this way. I have never had perfect legs or a behind, but never has it looked this bad at my skinny weight. And I am not trying to do it for anyone but myself. Not even my husband, because that would be the wrong motivation, but he definitely will benefit from it. So I can possibly consider buying shorts that are shorter than my knees and feel confident about wearing them. I DO NOT CARE IF MY BOOTY AND LEGS STAY BIGGER, AS LONG AS THEY ARE IN SHAPE! And the second reason is, when I have my next surgery, it is going to be an all out, dragging by the hair, terrible surgery to be recovering from, and I really really REALLY need my lungs and body to be in shape for it. Especially since they will be taking a chunk of lung. I don't want to struggle. I want to go home after 3 days or less in the hospital. Like my last surgery when the shift change occurred with the nurses and I got a brand new set of nurses, my nurse didn't even know I was a patient. Hello! That is AWESOME. I was walking around, because frankly laying in bed all day actually made me feel antsy, and I was feeling good enough, and I really wanted to go chat with someone (I think it was like 4 am or something), and the new nurse went into my room to introduce herself (I was just approaching the curve and could see my room) and she stopped for a second, looked around, went into the bathroom, looked around again, and I can tell she was confused. I finally reached the door and asked her if she was looking for me, she just about jumped out of her skin. What a great feeling! That is EXACTLY how I want the next one to be. Not the gentleman four rooms down who was having a hard hard time with recovering that he required the nurses more than me. My day will come when I need more assistance than the youngin down the hall. Until then, I need to be that youngin!
So yea, I say today is that start. Maybe. Actually, the big start was last Tuesday when my exercise buddy and I decided to meet at 4am to work out, and we did it Tuesday and Wednesday, then rested on Thursday and Friday, and picked back up on Saturday, so today was all me. I feel okay. Ethan will be up in about 20 minutes, possibly. And I will probably really REALLY need a nap, but if I can just hold out from not napping, then I will make it to 8pm (probably by the skin on my chinny chin chin!) and crash out, which is so important because the last few nights I have been sleeping really bad, which makes 3:30 suck even more. And then I can start again. Ugh. How long does it take to not hate exercising? I have heard never, but you hit a point where you can see results and start feeling better, and it makes it easier to want to go, but it still sucks. Then I hear some people get addicted to exercising. I highly doubt I will ever be an exercise addict. Ever.
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