Just a quick prayer

Hey all,

Just need a quick prayer. I feel like there's so much "busy" work I need to do tomorrow and I wander if some of it is just a distraction from what God wants from me tomorrow.  I literally have my whole day planned out from 8:30 all the way to bed.  I look at the schedule, knowing I need to cut some stuff out so I can have some down time, and I can actually have time with God, but it all seems so important. So how about I tell you what I have written down, and you tell me what can wait until tomorrow (or the next day), or maybe as I am typing them out I will see how ridiculous the task really is:

drop Ethan off at Mothers Morning Out, on my way home, stop at storage and pay storage rent, go into our storage unit and get out stickers for tomorrow, stop by front office of apartments and pay rent, inquire about any rent increases I should be expecting come June 1st (for those who don't know this, your landlord is required to give you written notice of any price increases (according to state of Texas I should probably clarify) as many days as you are required to give a written notice to vacate, so if you have to give a 30 day notice to vacate (move out), then they have to give you at least 30 day notice of your rates increasing after your lease end date), dishes, call vet about booboo (another story entirely), shower (yes, I won't have showered right away, maybe I will move this up to 7am soon as Kris leaves, that's kind of up in the air), hair cut, go to the church to help with quicken reports, to the library to print of Mommy & Me study stuff, home for lunch, balance check book, menu planning, grocery list based off that, return clothing to Steeles, pick up mail, pick up my precious cargo (aka Ethan), go the the park if he seems to need to burn more energy, home to prepare dinner, dinner, small group, skip Ethan bath time and story time due to coming home about 1.5 hrs after his bed time, mommy crashes out from day burn out.

And to top it off, I already have a list of three things I would like to do come Thursday during Ethan's other mother morning out, including going to a moms group without Ethan, but because a midwife is going to be coming to speak and I am interested in what she has to say, laundry, update my May calendar on my dry erase board and my bill paying calendar, and anything else that didn't get accomplished Tuesday or Wednesday. Ugh.  Now it is 11 pm, and I really need to lay down to get some sleep, but I know I need to hand over my busy schedule to God, because I know he can handle everything for me, otherwise I won't be able to sleep tonight and it will take all my energy to do anything tomorrow.  I also want to get up a little earlier than Kris and Ethan so I can have some one on one time with God and prepare my heart for the day. How much time do I start off with though?  I don't want to short change God, but I am already doing that by barely waking up in time to throw together a not so great lunch and breakfast for Kris and Ethan waking up 10 minutes after I wake up and I just don't do well with demands the first 1/2 hr I am awake.  So maybe I need about 45 minutes.  1/2 an hour with God, and 15 minutes to start preparing for the day for Kris and Ethan.  Maybe than I will great them with a cheery face, smiling, wishing them good morning in a sing song voice, hugging and kissing them, wishing Kris off to a good day like I mean it, not like, bye, see ya later, hope today is fruitful for you because it already sucks for me, sort of attitude.  How many times do I have to pray this same exact prayer to love my husband so completely that he has no choice but to love me back?  How many times until it actually happens?  Honestly, it has been drilled more and more into my head that it starts with loving and spending time alone with God.  Where else am I to get the strength to make it through my day if he doesn't provide it for me first?  Because I am human, and I am a failure at being human honestly, and I will continue to disappoint, but my God won't.  So yea, enough babbling.  time to get my behind to bed so 5:45 doesn't come so early.  Goodnight ya'll.  And extra prayers would def be appreciated!!

I will persevere!!!

Merriam-Webster defines perseverance as:

: continued effort to do or achieve something despite difficulties, failure, or opposition : the action or condition or an instance of persevering : steadfastness (directly copied from the website)

So my opposition this morning is the DEVIL.  He has been attacking me since last night!  I have been doing some work in preparation for this mommy & me meeting today, meeting with Pastor and having a good long talk about things in general, including where we would like to see this group go, doing research on topics we could discuss in the future, ideas for outings we could do, etc.  It has been actually quite interesting to do these things.  Not like work at all.  Just something that is satisfying a thirst for knowledge/organization inside of me.

While I was doing my research on topics, something I read said that Proverbs has a wealth of biblical parenting advice.  So I decided to start reading Proverbs.  Well, I got stuck on Proverbs 1:7, which reads:

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge,

but fools despise wisdom and discipline.

This struck me as interesting because the first 6 versus of Proverbs 1 are instructions on who is to use Proverbs, and how to use them.  Then before they go into all the Godly wisdom and advice, Solomon (who has been said to be one of the wisest kings/men/people of God to ever live) said that in order to know ANYTHING, you must first start with fearing the Lord.  So I went online to read what others had to say about Proverbs 1.  And it is interesting some things I found.  There is a page that I really got some good info from:

http://www.vtaide.com/Proverbs/index.html

I will be spending some time summing up what was said on that page, as well as what I find interesting and where I feel emphasis is necessary in MY life.

What does that mean to me exactly?  That to gain wisdom, knowledge, SMARTS, that it all starts with a good, healthy fear of the Lord!!  But.... what does it mean exactly to fear the Lord?  Does that mean we are to be afraid to approach him because he is that scary?  Does it mean that we don't ever provoke him?  Well, yes, we should never provoke God.  But that statement DOES NOT mean we should fear approaching God.  Quite the opposite!  The page I was reading from said that fear of the Lord meant two things: to run away from sin and pursue righteousness.  In other words, we should fear the punishment of sin from God so much that we turn away, RUN away, and pursue righteousness.  God is SO HOLY that he cannot even be around sin, and if we are born with sin, than that goes to say that he can't be around us, but alas! There is hope!  Jesus died for our sins so that we may be forgiven and we CAN be around God.  But we are to struggle every day with our current sins, and we are to turn away, ask for forgiveness, and pursue what is right, Godly, and just.  That being said, we should NEVER BE AFRAID OF APPROACHING GOD, JUST OF OUR UNFORGIVEN SINS THAT HE WILL PUNISH US FOR!!!

In verse 29 and 31, Solomon goes on to say in response to rejecting wisdom (as in from God): (parenthesis are my comments, not part of the verse)

Since they hated knowledge (which we know now comes from the fear of Lord) and did not choose to fear the Lord... they will eat the fruit of their ways (reaping what you sow much??)

Proverbs 2 begins to describe the benefits of heeding wisdom, he says that if you search out wisdom with your heart and open ears (mind/heart/soul), accept the wisdom, ask for insight and understanding and search it (insight/understanding) out as you would precious stones and valuable metals (specifically he says silver and treasure, vs 4)... [all this is my summary of 2:1-4], then vs 5 says:

then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find THE KNOWLEDGE OF GOD (emphasis is mine alone)

I mean, wow.  In order to gain the wisdom of GOD, not just plain ole, boring, HUMANLY wisdom, but HIS perfect, awesome, powerful wisdom, then it starts with "fearing the Lord".  Which brings us full circle that in order to get this wisdom, we must TURN away from sin and REPENT! We must approach God humbly, with reverence, asking for forgiveness NOW, TODAY, which we know is only offtered through the sacrifice of our Jesus, who died for us.  

So last night I was so struck in awe about this revelation, I mean, I knew it anyway, but to hear it again, God must have been speaking to me.  I humbly came to him, asking him for all the things I have done, and the things I cannot remember doing but he still finds pungent in his perfectness.  And the devil started attacking me!  My throat started hurting so bad and I couldn't actually swallow.  I mean, it was pretty bad.  I didn't think anything of it really because my throat has been scratchy for days, (looking back now, I think the devil has really been attacking me for my decision to be the spokesperson for mommy & me).  I posted just a summary of what I was feeling on FB and I went to bed.  I slept AWESOME!! Although I woke up with a headache, sore throat, and stuffy nose.  The devil was still attacking me.  He only had a few short hours to convince me I was sick and couldn't go to Mommy & Me and share my revelations and my love for Christ and my heart for getting this group up and running and growing.  Myself and two other mothers (as well as any other ones that decide to come today) have a huge heart for the success for this group, and together, with Jesus by our side, we WILL accomplish great things!  But the devil does not like this!  He wants to ruin my testimony.  He wants to break my fellowship with God.  He has had enough of this Jesus stuff!  BUT I WON'T ALLOW IT! I asked a very good friend to say a prayer for me that I was being attacked by the devil, and she is SUCH a prayer warrior, that I knew she would drop everything to pray a very powerful prayer over me, and together, we both prayed.  Instantly my headache is gone, my throat feels normal, and I can breath again.  Really devil, is that all you got for me?? BRING IT, I got Jesus by my side and you will NOT succeed in bringing me down!!!!

Then I looked on FB for my comment, and I just LOVE what someone posted about my status

Randi, I do not profess to be a Bible Scholar by any means, but I do study God's word. God cannot begin to teach us what we need to know until we learn to fear Him with reverence and respect. When we display this healthy type of fear then we become teachable. Fools depend on their own knowledge and do not want to or think that they need to listen to anyone else, much less God. That is why they are fools. American Heritage Dictionary defines a fool as one lacking judgement or sense.

Wow!  I LOVE that.  So a fool is someone who flat out rejects the opportunity or the teachings or really anything that is besides themselves, and most of all, the smartest being in the universe, God.  Stupid fools.  I mean, literally, Stupid.  Idiots. Fools.  What is wrong with them?? Why would you turn away from something that could give you such an advantage in this life and in the next??  I just am so baffled by it.

Going back to my prayer warrior friend.  At the beginning of the year, she sent me a BEAUTIFUL purple leather Christian daily calendar.  I have been using the HECK out of it since she sent it to me, for meal planning, and for whatever else I wanted to make sure I needed to remember (if you come into our apartment, and look around, you'll see that I have that calendar, a dry erase board I have turned into a calendar, one on my fridge, I use one to pay bills, and I use my phone calendar, I really use a lot of calendars because I hate forgetting things!!).  Every day has a scripture down at the bottom.  So this is HOW awesome God is.  He KNEW when the creators of this calendar were picking out verses that on April 25th, Randi Marie Mann would need to hear Proverbs 16:3.  He encouraged my friend to buy the calender.  He encouraged me to use it.  He encouraged me to leave it open last night on tomorrows (which is now today) page.  He encouraged my friend to read hers first (she got one for herself too).  Then to call my attention to it.  Wow, how amazing in my GOD!!!

Commit your actions to the Lord, and your plans will succeed.  (Proverbs 16:3)

That is SO powerful to me, that I have literally written it (including typed just now) 10 times.  I know it by heart, and I want to remember this one forever, so for the next few days, I will repeat this scripture in my heart over and over and over, believing my LORD, GOD, JESUS, is above all things and will MAKE OUR MOMS GROUP SUCCEED.  TAKE THAT DEVIL!!! BOO YA!!

Resurrection Eggs

Lately, as in the past 9 days, Kris and I have doing these "resurrection eggs" with Ethan.  The idea came from my friend Sarah who found it online (Cullinsabcs.com).  It is magnificent!  As a Christian, I am so moved by this ultimate sacrifice that God and Jesus made so that I may find my way to heaven through my Jesus. However, as a parent, there is more to the feeling than just being "moved".  I am brought to tears, and literally choked up, when I think how my heavenly Father sacrificed his ONLY son to be KILLED for OTHERS SINS! I mean, to be 100% honest, I cannot fathom giving my son up to die for you.  Just being honest here.  I love my son far too much to ever let him die for someone else.  When he is an adult, and if he decides to join the armed forces, or join a missionary that has a large element of danger to it, than that is his decision, one I probably will still struggle with, but this was NOT Jesus' desire! He says in Mark 14:34 "'My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death,' he said to them.  'Stay here and keep watch'".  Jesus was going to pray in the garden of Gethsemane, knowing very well that the next day he would be BETRAYED a more brutal betrayal than you or I have ever, and will likely never experience in our meager existences.  That the people he was JUST preaching to the day before would be pulled into the mob mentality and demand his death!  How they would ridicule him, and beat him, spit on him, shove a crown of thorns on his head, gamble for his clothing, laugh at his pain and suffering, all the inhumane things they did to MY Jesus!  Jesus prays for a while, then falls the the ground, BEGGING God to please let this hour pass, that God would ..."take this cup from me."  But my Jesus knew it was so much bigger than him.  He goes on to say "Yet not what I will, but what you will." (Mark 14:36). So I am literally brought to tears, how much GOD loves ME, an ugly sinner with anger management issues who idolizes finances a bit too much, who would rather play on Facebook or crochet than open my bible and READ his good word and soak it up, who is SO quick to judge others, and I am moved to tears.  Why would ANYONE allow their LOVED child to DIE for someone so UGLY?? Because I certainly wouldn't.  Period.  God must love us more than I can ever fathom.

So going back to the resurrection eggs, I really like how these eggs focus our story time at bed.  Ethan looks forward to opening his egg to see what lies inside.  Tonight, he actually shook it first to see if he could hear anything in it before he opened it.  And my heart caught for just a moment when I saw my child, whom I birthed and was so completely dependent on me for LIFE, becoming the man he will be one day. I bought this book from Mardel's called "Jesus is Risen" by Scandinavia.  Okay, this is a much older than my 2.5 year old's comprehension can handle, so we just focus on the story that matches our egg for the day.  And it has been a good pair up.  Do you know how hard it is to tell a 2.5 year old that people were mean to Jesus to the point that they KILLED him, and he DIED? And that they, very viciously, shoved a crown of thorns on his head (we told Ethan it hurt really bad and caused a lot of booboos and owies, and made him bleed, and it made Jesus sad, and the people were not being nice, they were being mean to Jesus and the crown was sharp.  I think we repeated that about 4 times.  It apparently stuck because the next day when we were summing up all the previous days and I got to the crown of thrones, he said "sharp!").  He IS NOT TOO YOUNG TO HEAR THIS.  He must know this.  If the only thing I can say I did when I go to meet my Jesus and God was to teach my son CORRECTLY Jesus' sacrifice for our sins and salvation, and I tried through my brokenness to show him the way, than that is enough for me.  But it isn't enough.  I am also given the task to show the light to you.  And him.  And her.  And how scary is that?  What if you make fun of me?  Or reject me?  That's when I have to remember, you aren't making fun of me or rejecting me; you are rejecting YOUR only way to heaven.  And only YOU and GOD can know what is in YOUR heart for repentance to Jesus.  I don't care if you donate all your money to my church, or attend every single function, and truly love people, and serve until your very last minute.  If YOU do not accept Jesus as your LORD and SAVIOR, than you aren't going to heaven.  The End.

So here are our resurrection eggs:

Day 1: Jesus rode into Jerusalem on a donkey (picture of a donkey is in his egg)
Day 2: Judas betrayed Jesus for money.  Judas was SUPPOSE to be Jesus' friend (a few nickles are in his egg)
Day 3: They broke bread and gave God thanks (a piece of bread is in his egg)
Day 4: Jesus prays for his followers (a picture of praying hands are in his egg)

Day 6: They place a crown of thorns on Jesus head (a picture of a crown of thorns is in his egg)
Day 7: They make a man completely unrelated, just passing by, to carry Jesus cross for him since he is too weak to carry it himself (a pendant from one of my necklaces, a cross, is in his egg)
Day 8: They nail Jesus to the cross, it hurt very bad.  They were very mean to Jesus, this is very sad (three nails are in his egg)
Day 9: Jesus is thirsty and someone dips a sponge in wine vinegar (soured wine basically), this is not a nice gesture (a piece of a kitchen sponge is in his egg)
Day 10: Jesus died.  They wrap him in linen and put his body in a tomb. (a piece of linen, or I put gauze which has a very Jesus' day feel to me, is in his egg)
Day 11: They rolled a giant rock over the tomb they laid Jesus in and put Roman guards outside to protect people from stealing, vandalizing, or doing anything else, Jesus body (a stone is in his egg).
Day 12: Jesus rose!  He fulfilled the scriptures! (his egg is empty!!)

A little funny story.  The day we got to the cross, I had originally had a toothpick hot glued cross in the egg.  Or so I thought.  We almost did day 12 early!  Haha, the cross fell out sometime while I was placing each item in its egg.  So I ran to my necklaces, and found a small cross, which fittingly has little red stones in it.

So as tomorrow day starts, I really want everyone to consider what took place this day over 2,000 years ago.  Even if you are not a Christian currently, so much HISTORY is tied to this EVENT.  I CHALLENGE you to compare the historical facts compared to the Bible's facts and then DENY it.  And remember, it isn't me you are denying.  It is where you will spend eternity once you die or Jesus comes to call us all home, whichever comes first.  I honestly would love to see you in heaven.  But there's only one way to heaven.  And two thousand years ago, God made that way possible.

As a side note, there is a book I read last Easter called "The Case for Easter" by Lee Strobel.  It is an excellent, easy ready if you want more proof that Jesus was beaten, crucified, DIED, buried, and rose again.  There is so much that goes into this book, that after reading it, I set it down, and all I could say was: WOW. If that doesn't make me a believer, I don't know what will.  However, friends, you must know that God has blessed me with the ability to take on anything with Faith.  That I have a very strong, unshakable faith in me.  The reason this is rare is because we are curious creatures, destined to doubt and not believe what we cannot concretely see and touch.  So God blesses his people differently (called Spiritual Gifts), such as discernment, faith, hospitality, the list goes on (like 27 of them are recognized).  He has blessed me with Faith.  I  easily accept the bible and DO NOT doubt it. Why? I do not know, I believe it to be 100% true because God said it was, and that is good enough for me.  Not everyone is like that.  So for the doubters out there, this book is a GREAT read to help answer some of the nagging questions such as did Jesus really die that day when ordinarily it took 3+ days for someone to die on the cross?  And how do we know that someone didn't just STEAL Jesus body from the tomb in order to make it LOOK like the scriptures were being fulfilled (yes the book literally, and historically, answers these questions so well, that if you are history or science geek, the evidence will speak to you). And it is less than 100 pages.